


double down

by kosy



Series: conjugates [3]
Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/F, Missing Scene, Press and Tabloids, Season/Series 07, by 'missing scene' i mean like. missing scene from the rest of the ochoice cinematic universe, everything in blaseball is a missing scene technically i think but this is doubly so HVLKJSD, literally this fic is just miserable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kosy/pseuds/kosy
Summary: Jaylen looks at the magazine again, then back at Dreamy. "Nothing good, I assume."She chuckles dryly. "No. Nothing good."
Relationships: Jaylen Hotdogfingers/Sutton Dreamy
Series: conjugates [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111742
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	double down

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! this stands alone, but it's also set in the same universe as the previous fic in this series, a sort of missing scene that i didn't want to include in the real sequel to "oceanographer's choice" because it's literally just miserable. i wanted people to be able to opt out of this section easily without missing anything, so: separate fic same series!
> 
> takes place in the late season seven, after their previously-secret relationship became Very public in the midst of jaylen's s7 murder spree. **content warnings for:** the general moral mess of jaylen committing murder to stay alive and dreamy choosing to stay with her, a relationship in a more unhealthy period, mentions of abuse/manipulation, and the violation of privacy (re: the press).
> 
> thank you for reading!

The first thing Jaylen sees when she gets home that night is Dreamy, leaning against the kitchen sink with a cup of tea clasped in her hands despite the humid heat outside, and she's already looking back, unreadable. The second is the magazine lying open on the counter. 

"...Hi," she says uncertainly. There's usually—something more, when she gets back from pitching a game like this. Two new Instabilities, their faces already fading from her mind. She's come to expect an argument or a pointed comment or even a kiss. Something human to hold onto. Something.

But Sutton doesn't even move toward her, just nods in acknowledgment. "Hi. You should probably read that, Jay." 

Jaylen looks at the magazine again, then back at her. "Nothing good, I assume." 

She chuckles dryly. "No. Nothing good." 

Hesitantly, Jaylen takes a seat at the counter and pulls the magazine toward her. It's folded open to a story somewhere in the middle of the issue, the pages creased sharply like somebody ran their nail over it too many times to count. The article's a two-page spread, more images than text. Her and Dreamy leaving the Big Garage together, Jaylen wild-eyed and grinning with a manic edge, Dreamy glaring stone-faced straight into the lens. Her and Dreamy about to kiss outside a bar in Baltimore, zoomed in to the point of pixelation and enhanced so their expressions are unobscured by shadows. Her on the pitching mound sneering at the camera sometime this summer. Dreamy smiling out radiantly from her Tlopp's card. All shit Jaylen's seen before, sure, but something heavy settles in her stomach anyway. 

"Jaylen Hotdogfingers and Sutton Dreamy: The Shocking Truth Finally Revealed!" the title announces. Right. Jaylen starts reading with the intent of taking the whole thing in but after a few sentences she's already skimming, bile rising in her throat. She catches words and phrases and very little else.  _ Stockholm Syndrome—manipulative—trapped and now isolated from the outside world—kept in the dark—constant stream of lies from Hotdogfingers—unhinged murderer—unwitting accomplice—the hero we used to know—just another thing we know she'll never have to answer for. _

It's ugly. It's just ugly. Insidious, false-concern speculation from a shitty corner store's checkout-lane rack, but even if barely anyone buys the tabloids anymore Jaylen knows to her core that this is what most of the world thinks, whether they're willing to say it aloud or not. 

She'd known that before. Known what was coming the second their relationship was thrust into the public eye, especially once Sutton deleted all her social media and went radio silent on everyone she wasn't close to. Jaylen knew what that looked like, just hadn't had the heart to tell her not to. Seeing it all put into words and printed, tangible, is something else entirely. 

She exhales, more shaky than she’d thought or hoped, and pushes the magazine away from her. "Jesus." 

"Yeah." Dreamy's staring into her mug, eyes unfocused. "I found it open to that. It was lying on the bench in the locker room before the game. I figure it was either a warning or someone's way of saying they're worried about me. But, hey, who knows. Maybe it was just some light reading." 

"Dreams, that's—"

"It's fine," she says tersely. "It isn't true, if that's what you're worried about. I know exactly what I've gotten myself into."

"I just mean I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt at all." Jaylen tries to catch her eyes—if she could just get her to  _ look _ at her then maybe she can—but Sutton hasn't even lifted her head. 

She laughs, jagged and too loud for the cramped kitchen. "A little late for that one, Jay."  _ Sorry _ is too weak to even start to make up for the last six years, so Jaylen just keeps looking at her, and finally Sutton meets her gaze, her eyes dark and exhausted. "Not your fault," she adds, then snorts. "Well, mostly." 

"Yeah," she says, offering a flicker of a smile. Hesitates, then tacks on an "I'm sorry," anyway. 

Dreamy shrugs, face set. "The choice was mine. I stayed. I wouldn't go back and change that. I don't care about what the rest of the world has to say about it." A harsh sigh, and she sets the mug in the sink with a hollow clack. "God, I just wish I c—wait, actually," she cuts herself off, eyes lighting up. "Actually. I could make a statement, I could tell them all that I—" 

There's a twist in Jaylen’s gut and she shakes her head, watches Dreamy's face fall. "Whatever you tell them, they'll use it against you," she tells her softly. "They'll write that I told you what to say. Or they'll try to read between the lines, interpret it as a secret cry for help. Like you've given them some kind of code they have to break. Either way you're throwing them a bone. It'd be worse.” She jerks her chin toward the magazine, and she can feel her pulse racing, her breathing rough. "This is us now. It's who we are to them. Can't change it. Doesn't matter what we do." 

She's been dealing with the press since before season one, knows exactly what they do with the stories they want to tell. The compelling arc has always been worth more than the honest one. 

Dreamy exhales, and even from across the room, Jaylen can hear how the breath shudders out of her. "It just isn't... I'm not helpless. And you've done a lot, I know, but you wouldn't do. That." 

"I know you're not. And that I wouldn't. But I'm not dragging you down with me." She digs her nails into the inside of her own wrist until it stings, just over the pulse point. "Just because I'm the monster under their fuckin' beds doesn't mean you have to be. Look, just make sure the people you care about know you're okay. Other than that, I don't know. We have our roles now. I guess we just. Keep playing. It's gotta blow over at some point." 

It's quiet in the kitchen for a long moment except for the traffic outside. Jaylen watches her carefully, but she's just staring straight ahead. 

"God," Dreamy mumbles, then presses the heels of her hands into her forehead and laughs again, short and hysterical and crumbling. "This  _ sucks, _ Jay." 

"Yeah," she says. "It really fucking does." She pauses, then slowly pushes her stool back and steps around the counter so she's across from Sutton. She tells herself to expect nothing, but Sutton doesn't hesitate before rushing into Jaylen's arms, hands coming up to clutch at her upper back. She tucks her face into the junction of Jaylen's neck and shoulder, and she's not crying but it's a near thing. Jaylen wraps her arms around her and rests her chin on the top of her head. 

Any other night, it might feel like Jaylen was protecting her by holding her this close. It doesn't feel like that now.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! you can find me on tumblr @fourteenthidol if you like, and if you leave a comment or kudos it means the world to me. thank you again!


End file.
